Of Prophecies and Ramen
by FriedIce
Summary: Uzumaki Naruto would be the first to admit that his life was anything but normal. He'd seen people come back to life, a powerful warrior knocked out by a variation of Henge and had been trained under toads. So, when he's suddenly transported out of Konoha whilst eating breakfast, he merely shrugs, pulls out a pair of chopsticks and finishes his ramen. no pairings
1. Chapter 1

**Of Prophecies and Ramen**

**Chapter One**

_S.P.T. to A.P.W.B.D._

_Dark Lord_

_And (?) Harry Potter_

Harry stared at the rows and rows of glowing white orbs, his eyes fixated on the one with his name on it. Without realising it, he felt his hand rise and reach out to the orb. It was like the glowing bulb was calling to him, as strange as it sounded.

"HARRY! Hurry up!"

The sudden shout caused Harry to jolt, his hand missing the prophecy with his name on it and falling onto the globe next to it. His eyes widening in shock, Harry stared dumbly at the prophecy in front of him that he had just unwittingly picked up.

_Unknown to unknown_

'_The Child of the Prophecy'_

"Hand it over, Potter," a voice came from in front of Harry.

Harry's head snapped up, catching sight of Lucius Malfoy approaching menacingly, his wand pointed in threat at Harry. He was flanked by over ten Death Eaters, the most notable being a grinning Bellatrix Lestrange.

It would have been smarter for Harry to just hand over the prophecy, he realised later. It wasn't of any interest to them, unlike the one with his name on it, and Harry doubted that they were after the 'Child of the Prophecy', whoever that was. But Harry had been conditioned his entire life to never give a Death Eater what they asked for. It was an automatic response.

Harry pulled the prophecy closer to him and drew his wand.

"Not on my life," he answered with resolution. Harry then muttered to his companions, "on my signal..."

"Don't make this difficult, Potter," Malfoy commanded.

Harry couldn't help the smirk that came to his lips.

"It's in my nature," he replied before raising his voice to a shout. "NOW!"

With the synchronisation that they only managed to perfect through practice, Harry and his five companions brought six large, sweeping reductos down onto the shelves.

And then, they ran.

Harry's mind started to whir as he charged down the pathway, unaware of who was following them, prophecies falling left, right and centre. Obviously, this was a trap, but they were outnumbered two-to-one. Those odds would have been hard to work with even if the difference of skill wasn't so great, but Harry was pitifully aware of the difference that experience could make.

Instinct was the only thing that got Harry down that corridor, dodging curses without even thinking about it. _It's just a game of quiditch, _Harry was chanting to himself, _just dodge the really fast, multi-coloured, death-bearing bludgers…_

Something grabbed Harry's hand, and the dark-haired teen glanced back long enough to see the face of Nott Sr before he was struck with a red beam of light. Pushing the now stunned Nott off himself, and watching him be crushed by falling shelves, Harry muttered a thanks to Hermione as they continued to run.

_One down. Eleven to go._

A glance behind them allowed Harry to realise that they had a pair of Death Eaters hot on their tails. Harry hastily threw a curse behind himself, missing by large margins and smashing yet again into the shelves.

In front of him, Harry caught sight of a door. Yes! He cheered, somewhere to hide!

Harry charged towards the door, hurriedly ducking in the room, followed by Hermione and Neville and rushed to seal the door shut.

It was then that Harry looked around the group.

"Where – where are the others?" asked Harry. He'd assumed that Ron, Luna and Ginny were ahead of them, waiting in the room for them, but the room was empty.

"They must have gone the wrong way!" Hermione whispered, terrified.

"Listen!" whispered Neville.

Harry and Hermione were silent and Harry pressed his ear against the door. He could hear footsteps and shouts and Malfoy declare that his friends were expendable. Cold fury mixed with terror boiled up inside Harry. He _couldn't, _he _refused, _to let his friends die because of him.

"What do we do?" Hermione asked Harry desperately, trying to keep a lid on her terror, but failing.

Harry could see that she was scared. Harry understood, but they had to sort out their priorities, and comforting Hermione would only waste time.

Already, Harry could feel the familiar sensation of adrenaline seeping into his system, his head clearing as it did.

"We move," he answered. "Moving targets are harder to hit than sitting ducks."

With that, he pulled Hermione off the floor where she had collapsed and the three of them began to run. They fled past the shimmering bell jar where a tiny egg lay hatching and unhatching, past many shelves and towards the exit. They had almost reached it when Harry heard something large and heavy collide with the door they had charmed shut.

"It's not going to hold," Hermione whispered heavily.

"_ALOHOMORA!"_

With a shout, the door crashed open and Harry threw himself into his two friends, pushing them all under one of the large desks. Harry clasped his hand over Hermione's mouth as she moved to scream, watching the bottom of the two Death Eaters' robes as they drew nearer.

They had little to no advantages, Harry realised, except the most basic one: surprise.

"They might have run straight through to the hall," one of the Death Eaters suggested. Harry placed it as the one to his left.

"Check under the desks," his partner commanded gruffly.

Harry panicked. His one advantage was almost gone. They had to act – now!

The knees of the Death Eater bent. Harry readied his wand and, with as much energy as he could muster, he shouted, "_STUPEFY_!"

Harry's spell took out the first Death Eater, sending him spiralling backwards into a grandfather clock, smashing it to pieces, but the second still remained, having dodged, and was now aiming his own wand at Hermione, who was crawling out from under the desk to get a better aim.

Harry heard the first few syllables form on the Death Eater's lips.

"_Avada –"_

Harry acted on instinct, launching himself across the floor and grabbing the Death Eater around the knees, tackling him to the floor. Neville overturned a desk in his anxiety to help and, pointing his wand wildly at the struggling pair, he cried:

"_EXPELLIARMUS!"_

Harry felt his wand leave his hand and immediately scrambled to his feet to retrieve it. Unfortunately, the same had happened to the Death Eater, and the pair of them were promptly engaged in a race to get to the wands.

"Dodge!" that was all the warning Harry got of what Neville was going to do.

Placing his entire trust in Neville, Harry flung himself sideways just in time to hear Neville shout:

"_STUPEFY!"_

The red beam of light narrowly missed the Death Eater, brushing past his cloak before hitting a glass cabinet and causing it to collapse in on itself, then repair itself continuously. Harry could only watch in horror as the Death Eater snatched his wand back up, throwing himself at Neville and pulling them behind a desk.

The Death Eater readied a spell: "_STUP—"_

"_STUPEFY!_"

Harry grinned, recognising that voice. It was Hermione. And Hermione never missed. Pulling himself up from behind the desk, Harry caught sight of the Death Eater as he froze and fell back into the bell jar, his head sinking into the eerie green liquid.

"_Accio wand!" _cried Hermione, deftly catching Harry's wand and throwing it to him.

Harry grinned. The adrenaline had finally set in for Hermione, then. This was no longer the terrified school girl Harry was looking at, this was Hermione Granger, a Gryffindor.

"Thanks," Harry said. "Right, let's move –"

"Holy hell," Neville breathed.

Hermione and Harry both whirled around to see what Neville was staring at and found themselves uncontrollably repulsed.

The Death Eater's head was shrinking very fast, growing balder and balder, the black hair and stubble retracting into his skull; his cheeks becoming smooth, his skull round and covered with a peachlike fuzz…

A baby's head now sat grotesquely on top of the thick, msucled body of the Death Eater as he struggled to get up again; but even as they watched, their mouths open in a mixture of horror and fascination, the head began to swell to its previous proportions; thick black hair was sprouting from the pate and chin…

"It's Time," Hermione whispered. "_Time… _We're in the Hall of Time…"

Harry, Hermione and Neville continued to stare, dumbstruck, until the sound of a shout and scream from a nearby room called them out of their stupor.

"The others!" Neville realised with an exclamation.

Throwing one last look at the aging and de-aging man, the three charged out of the room, in time to hear approaching footsteps from the Hall of Prophecies.

_Three Down. Nine to go._

Harry, Hermione and Neville ran towards the open door at the end of the room, making it halfway there before Harry spotted more Death Eaters running at them. Harry thought on his feet, veering left and throwing himself and his companions into an office and slamming the door behind them.

"_Colllo—_" began Hermione, but before she could complete the spell, the door was thrown open…

Naruto cracked an eye open, wondering if the events of yesterday were all a dream. He looked around himself, noting the unfamiliar surroundings and then it hit him: Konoha had been destroyed. And he'd… he'd saved everyone.

Naruto smiled. He'd finally gotten them to respect him.

Naruto stretched his arms out, not yet fully awake and moved to find himself some ramen. Today was going to be a good day.

If only he knew…

Neville was being tortured, Harry realised numbly. His friends were being hurt because he was clinging to a prophecy. Harry looked between Neville and the prophecy. He had no choice.

"We both know you're not stupid, Harry," Malfoy whispered. "Come now, make the right choice."

Harry reached out with his left hand, preparing to give the prophecy to Malfoy. He could practically feel the man smirking…

Suddenly, the door opened above them and five people sprinted into the room: Sirius, Lupin, Moody, Tonks and Kingsley.

It was then that Harry's more rebellious instinct kicked in. _Rule number one, _Harry remembered, _when a Death Eater asks for something, do the opposite._

It was Harry's turn to smirk.

"We can't always get what we want," Harry said before throwing the prophecy to the ground…

* * *

Uzumaki Naruto would be the first to admit that his life was anything but normal. He'd seen people come back to life, a powerful warrior knocked out by a variation of Henge and had trained under toads. So, when he began to feel a weird spinning sensation whilst making his breakfast, he put it down to the fox trying something with the seal.

Normally, he'd be somewhat panicked, but today, Naruto thought he deserved a break.

He realised, when he began to feel like he was being pulled into his belly-button, that this was most definitely not normal, but by then it was too late. Uzumaki Naruto disappeared from Konoha in a puff of smoke.

* * *

The prophecy exploded, throwing shards of glass everywhere. Smoke erupted out of the wreckage and Harry couldn't help but grin. That was a useful distraction.

And like that, the battle began.

* * *

Like it had been said before, Uzumaki Naruto's life was anything but normal. However, the blond admitted, this most definitely won as his most abnormal experience.

As the smoke cleared, Naruto's surroundings came into view.

His pot of instant ramen still in his hand, Naruto watched the scene before him, bemused.

_Right, on their side, we have cloak wearing soldiers – possibly a variant of Akatsuki – using sticks as weapons – well I have seen stranger – and shooting weird, possibly harmful beams of light at each other, _Naruto calculated. _And on my side, we have me, not even fully dressed or breakfasted…_

Naruto shrugged. _Probably better to stay out of it for now…_

Digging in the pockets of his trousers, Naruto found his spare pair of chopsticks that he always kept on him and grinned, splitting them apart and preparing to dig into his meal.

_Ah, yes, sweet ramen… _Naruto thought in bliss, reaching for another mouthful. Until…

One of those funny beams of light _hit _Naruto's ramen pot, causing it to explode into his face.

Cold fury boiled up in Naruto. _He did not just hit the ramen!_

But, the dripping noodles covering his face and hair told him otherwise. Naruto shook his head. They would pay for this…

Forming his favourite handseal, Naruto cried, "_Kage Bunshin no Jutsu!_"

* * *

Harry paused in his battle when nearly a thousand blond clones filled the area.

Suddenly, a hand was tugging on his wrist. He spun around. It was Tonks.

"Come on, Harry, let's move," she stated. "We'll use the pandemonium as cover."

Harry nodded. "Wait," he said. "What about the others?"

"Kingsley's taking care of it," Tonks reassured Harry.

Harry nodded dumbly, as Tonks checked behind them and began to move them to the door.

That was when Tonks caught sight of it.

"Dumbledore," she breathed in relief.

Harry stumbled for words for a second.

"Dumbledore?" he asked. Tonks nodded.

Relief coursed through his bones. Dumbledore was here. They were saved.

It seemed effortless, the way Dumbledore ploughed through the Death Eaters like they were cannon fodder. Harry wanted to stay and watch, but Tonks pulled his hand back and was leading him through the door, when—

He saw it. Bellatrix and Sirius. Bellatrix, with her wand still poised, and Sirius, the life slowly draining from his face. And back he fell, through the whispy curtains of the veil.

Harry couldn't help it.

He let out an anguished cry of grief:

"SIRIUS!"

* * *

Naruto paused when he heard that name. In fact, all three hundred of him that were left paused, causing half of them to be dispelled by the old man's beams of light.

That, Naruto realised, was a cry of outright grief and anger. It was the cry of someone who'd just lost the one thing they had…

And Naruto hated that he had to see it on another person. And so, Naruto moved to the person who shouted, not knowing what he could do, but knowing he had to do something.

Harry broke free of Tonks' grip and before he knew it, he was running after Bellatrix, blind rage clouding his vision.

Tonks, struck dumb by her cousin's death, wanted to go after him, but, frozen in shock, she could only watch as Harry charged out of the room.

That was why it was only Tonks who saw a blond blur dash after him.

"Aaaah … did you love him, little baby Potter?"

Harry could hear Bellatrix's voice. He hated it. He hated her. Hate, hate, HATE!

Harry brought his wand into the air, that hate controlling his thoughts. Unbidden, the spell came to his lips—

"_Cru—"_

Something collided with him, knocking him to the ground. Looking up, Harry saw a blond teen, his age, standing between him and Bellatrix. Wait, no, there were two of him… Was Harry hallucinating?

"Oh?" Bellatrix said, tilting her head to the side in false interest. "A newcomer? Shame, you're kinda cute."

The blond muttered a few words in a language Harry didn't know, before holding his right hand out.

The blond said one word, his voice deathly calm, before charging at Bellatrix.

"_Rasengan."_

A glowing blue orb of ever changing light formed in the blond's hand and as he brought it crashing down onto Bellatrix's form with inhuman speed, it was only pure luck that allowed her to dodge.

The blond's fist crashed through a wall behind her, causing chunks of rubble to fly through the air.

Bellatrix felt her eyes widen. Such power… His Lordship would be interested in it for sure. Bellatrix threw the first non-lethal curse she knew at the blond, determined to capture him.

_Petrificus totalis! _she thought, silently sending the curse his way.

It caught the blond straight on, hitting him square in the chest. The blond went rigid, freezing in place and crashing to the ground. Bellatrix grinned manically before turning to Potter. She would be rewarded greatly for this.

* * *

Harry watched the blond fall to the floor, Bellatrix smirking all the while.

The blond had quite literally just punched through a wall… If that attack had actually hit…

"So, Potter, where were we?" Bellatrix asked, blowing a lock of hair out of her face. "Oh yes," she said. "Give me the prophecy."

Harry stared at her.

"I don't have it," he answered truthfully, his revenge momentarily forgotten, before pulling out his wand and, as if remembering that he was supposed to be fighting here, threw a _stupefy _at Bellatrix.

Bellatrix waved it off like it was nothing.

"Potter," she said coldly, "I'm giving you one last chance! Give me the prophecy – roll it towards me now – and I might spare your life!"

"Well," Harry said, his voice reaching an icy low, "you're just going to have to kill me. I smashed it, Bellatrix, right back there in the chamber."

Bellatrix paused, fear forming on her face for the first time.

"You're lying," she whispered harshly, before screaming, "YOU'RE LYING!"

Harry's scar began to burn, but he ignored it, settling for a low laugh.

"There is no prophecy, Bellatrix. It's gone, smashed, broken…"

"LIAR!" Bellatrix shrieked. "YOU'VE GOT IT, YOU'RE LYING! GIVE IT TO ME! _ACCIO PROPHECY!_"

Nothing happened.

The pain in Harry's skull reached new levels, but he paid it no heed, continuing his maniacal laugh.

"Nothing to summon, is there, Bellatrix?"

"No!" she screamed. "It isn't true, you're lying! MASTER, I TRIED, I TRIED – DO NOT PUNISH ME –"

"Don't waste your breath," Harry told her softly. "He can't hear you, Bellatrix."

"Can't I Potter?" said a high, cold voice. It sounded almost … amused.

Standing a few feet in front of them was a snake-like man, dressed exclusively in black, an evil smirk on his face. He was pointing his wand at Harry, who stood, frozen, quite unable to move.

"So you smashed my proph—" Voldemort began, only to be cut off by a shout, full of anger, pain and hatred.

"_OROCHIMARU!"_

* * *

_AN: Well, here's another new story. Aren't you guys lucky?_

_Anyway, here's a preview of the next chapter:_

* * *

Naruto felt his body shut down. He could quite literally not move a muscle. _Hm… _Naruto thought. _Paralysis? Nah, the fox would neutralise it… Genjutsu? _Naruto disrupted his chakra network. That didn't work…

_Well, _Naruto thought, _since I can't move…_

Naruto closed his eyes and began to gather nature energy…

* * *

_Well, I hope you guys liked it. _

_Leave a review,_

_-FriedIce_


	2. Chapter 2

**Of Prophecies and Ramen**

* * *

**Pre-chapter notes: **first off, this is going to be an independent Harry fic, partially because my beta and I could not, for the life of me, come up with another plot. If you can think of a better one, drop me a line and I'll use it instead. :P

That aside, I would like to dedicate this chapter to my first ever flame: _0 Jordino 0!_ Congratulations! Your review made me laugh. No really, it did, like I spat out my breakfast because I was laughing so hard. Now that I have had my first flame, I feel like I have passed some sort of initiation ritual. I'm leaving the review up because, well, it's another review, right?

* * *

**Chapter Two**

Naruto felt his body shut down. He could quite literally not move a muscle. _Hm… _Naruto thought. _Paralysis? Nah, the fox would neutralise it… Genjutsu? _Naruto disrupted his chakra network. That didn't work…

_Well, _Naruto thought, _since I can't move…_

Naruto closed his eyes and began to gather nature energy...

In the background, Naruto could hear people shouting, screaming even. He tuned them out, focusing solely on the natural energy.

Then, Naruto opened his eyes and caught sight of the one face he had hoped he would only see again long enough to crush into the dirt – if that wasn't too good for him.

Rage bubbled up inside Naruto, rage which he let out in an anguished cry of blind anger:

"_OROCHIMARU!"_

It wasn't until after Naruto had flung a _Rasenshuriken _at the snake-faced man that he realised that this wasn't Orochimaru. At which point, many emotions passed through his mind at once: confusion – there was another snake-faced bastard out there?_ – _irritation – he'd just lost the chance to kill the bastard that ruined Sasuke's life – and lastly, anxiety – if Sakura found out he'd just flung a _Rasenshuriken _at an innocent civilian, he would be finding himself in an early grave.

* * *

Voldemort felt his eyes widening when he felt a crashing vortex of power heading towards him, quickly summoning a figurehead from the fountain nearby to absorb the impact. When the object spiralling towards him, however, carved through that figurehead and kept going, Voldemort was required to think on his feet, moving to dodge, but knowing he wouldn't be fast enough.

_Move, damnit! _Voldemort told his body, forcing his muscles to move faster.

Yes! He was going to make it … his entire torso was out of the way now …

The attack reached him.

Voldemort let out a scream of agony.

* * *

Oh dear kami… Sakura was going to _kill _him. He'd just _cut_ the snake-man's arm off… with a _Rasenshuriken _no less…

And, if the man's screams implied anything, it had hurt. A lot. Not nearly as much as a chidori through the chest, but Naruto had no doubt that it would have been painful.

Well, crap.

Naruto made a mental note to start writing his Will.

* * *

When Dumbledore arrived on the scene thirty seconds later, he found himself awfully confused as to what was going on.

The first question that came to the elderly headmaster's mind was concerning why Voldemort was missing an arm.

The second was what the blond – of whose copies he had ploughed through hundreds of – was doing here, half dressed and – wait, was that eyeshadow? No matter.

The third was why exactly the blond looked so apologetic and panicked at the same time.

The fourth—

Dumbledore pushed his confusion out of his mind. The probability that any of this resulted in Voldemort turning out to have been good all along was relatively low, so Dumbledore could just work to incapacitating him. After a flick of his wand had delivered Harry safely out of the battle, Dumbledore began to transfigure objects and send them into the fray.

The blond made no effort to engage in combat with either of them. Dumbledore decided to deal with him later, sensing that he could quite possibly be an unlikely ally.

And thus, an epic showdown began.

* * *

OK, Naruto thought, as he watched the battle dumbstruck, sage mode still active, he _wanted _one of those sticks. Screw the impracticality of using a thin piece of wood as a weapon, those beams of light were _awesome. _

Satisfied that the old man was winning the battle – Naruto was rooting for him because if the snake-face got killed he couldn't tell Sakura – Naruto let his eyes wander from the battle, still making sure to keep his awareness sharp so that the annoying fiasco with the silent beam of light wouldn't be repeated, and felt them stray to the black-haired boy.

He reminded Naruto of Sasuke, a little, except that Naruto suspected he wasn't quite so obsessed with vengeance; no one could really compare to Sasuke when it came to vengeance. A part of Naruto wondered if this was what Sasuke could have become…

Naruto pushed the thought out of his mind. He would save his friend, no matter who tried to stand in his way.

Suddenly, the black-haired boy keeled over in pain, clutching his forehead. Naruto felt his eyes widen a fraction and the next thing he knew, he was sprinting to the boy's side.

The boy began to speak in the strange language he'd heard the people here talking in, but when the words came out of his mouth, Naruto could tell that both the words and voice were not his own. When Naruto looked into his eyes, they were black.

"_Kill me now, Dumbledore…" _he hissed, his breaths uneven.

A KI that would have made most citizens keel over and have a heart attack flooded the room. Naruto shrugged it off; the fox was far more threatening.

"_If death is nothing, Dumbledore, kill the boy…_"

Naruto was stumped, the closest he'd ever come to having to deal with possession was when a jinchuriki lost control of their bijuu, but Naruto was pretty sure that _this _boy didn't have any tailed creature sealed inside him… There was only him and the hachibi left, and he was pretty sure that Cloud had him as part of their forces.

Unexpectedly, the KI dropped into nothingness. The black-haired boy's breathing became regular and Naruto reached out and put a hand on his shoulder. Naruto was vaguely aware of the fact that the battle behind him had ended, with the old man as the victor, but was more focused on the problem at hand. Black eyes faded to green…

* * *

Harry felt his sight returning to him and was met with a pair of cerulean eyes.

"Are you alright?"

Harry noted absent-mindedly that he was sure that wasn't English, but shrugged it off, nodding in reassurance.

It was then that Harry noticed who was speaking to him and that he was pretty damn sure he had never seen this person before in his life. He had short spikey blond hair and blue eyes, with a rounded face that somehow suited him. The person was wearing nothing but a pair of trousers, with bare feet and a bare torso, but the feature that drew Harry's attention were the six identical whisker marks on each cheek. Harry's legs responded automatically, pushing himself away.

"Who the hell are you?" he demanded, noting now, more alarmed, that he apparently could speak this language that wasn't English.

Hurt flashed through those cerulean eyes, as if recalling a bad memory before the boy in front of him blinked it away.

"Naruto," he answered. "Uzumaki Naruto."

"Harry," Harry said, finding himself trusting this teenager, even knowing very little about him. "Harry Potter."

"Where are we?" Naruto asked suddenly, which caused Harry to frown. How could he _not _know where he was?

"The Ministry of Magic," Harry answered, then, catching sight of the strange markings around Naruto's eyes asked another question. "Is that eye-shadow?"

Naruto threw him a dirty look.

"It's an after-effect of sage chakra," he said, sounding rather annoyed. He seemed like he wanted to add more, but suddenly turned around. "Who are they?"

Harry blinked, suddenly realising the room was full of people, including the Minister for Magic and several of the more prominent Aurors. Harry couldn't help but feel it was somewhat worrying that the alarm system on the Ministry was _that _bad, that a bunch of teenagers had been able to easily break in, destroy several rooms in the DoM and then have a large scale battle before the cavalry arrived.

Harry sighed and began to point out a few of the people he recognised in the atrium.

"That there's Cornelius Fudge, the Minister for Magic, the one in the purple-striped pyjamas," Harry said, pointing him out.

Naruto snorted.

"Looks like an ignorant fool," Naruto remarked. "Wonder how long he could go in Konoha without getting punched…"

It was Harry's turn to repress a snort. He had no idea what a 'Konoha' was, but Naruto had a surprisingly accurate grip on what Fudge was like.

"The man talking to him, who was battling Voldemort earlier, is Dumbledore," Harry said, "he's my headmaster."

"He's a bit like the Third," Naruto mused aloud. Harry wondered who the Third was. "Except," Naruto added, "he seems more … twisted…"

Harry blinked. Dumbledore? Twisted? That wasn't the word he'd use to describe the man he looked up to as a grandfather…

"Look at the way he's talking to Fudge," Naruto continued. "He's playing the fool like a game… It's like, he's a shougi-master and the checkmate that he planned moves and moves ago has finally come into play. Like Shika, kind of, but more evil."

Harry found himself staring at the conversation between the two men, not even questioning mentally who 'Shika' was, but instead intently analysing the tell-tale signs of manipulation…

He snapped out of it when he heard his name mentioned:

"We can discuss this after I have set Harry back to Hogwarts," Dumbledore said.

Instantly, Naruto's words re-echoed through his mind and Harry found himself wondering how long he had been a pawn in an old man's plans. This was what Dumbledore was doing here, playing Harry like a trump card. Harry felt his eyes narrow slightly.

"Harry – _Harry Potter_?"

Harry could practically feel the smirk on Naruto's lips when the minister whirled around to stare at Harry, distinctly hearing him muttering 'old fool' under his breath.

"He – here?" said Fudge, goggling at Harry. "Why – what's all this about?"

"I shall explain everything when Harry is back at school," Dumbledore said.

Harry knew a publicity stunt when he saw one, having had to deal with an entire year of Rita Skeeter staging them on him, and could recognise easily that he was being used here. It was a simple plan, really, Dumbledore got to appear benevolent and caring, whilst putting Fudge on a back foot and buying time.

Dumbledore picked up a piece of rubble. "_Portus_," he said.

As Fudge began to bluster some form of complaint, but Dumbledore simply ignored him.

"Why don't you and your friend," he said, "wait for me in my office?"

He thrust the portkey into Harry's hand, then reached out and put Naruto's on it.

"Hey, what does this thing d—" Naruto began, but was cut off when the world began to spin.

Harry, despite himself, had to laugh at the blond's antics.

* * *

"That," Naruto stated, "was epic."

The 'portkey' as Harry had called it, had dispelled the last of his sage chakra, but it had been _so _worth it.

Harry looked at him, feeling slightly sick. Was he insane? That had got to be Harry's least preferable means of transport. It even topped the Floo.

A slow silence built between the pair of them, neither asking the questions they wanted. Harry could sense Naruto's confusion and to be honest, he was confused too. When Naruto began to speak, he didn't begin with the question that Harry expected.

"Who died?" Naruto asked softly.

Harry's head shot up.

"What?" he asked in shock.

"I heard your shout," Naruto explained. "I've heard that sort of cry too many times before not to recognise it."

Harry was silent for a moment, stewing this over in his mind.

"Sirius," he answered quietly. "Sirius Black. He is – _was _– my godfather."

Harry felt Naruto stiffen slightly to his side.

"I'm sorry," the reply came out strained, like he was holding back tears.

Harry said nothing, merely thinking.

"Why?" he asked suddenly. "Why did you stop me? She – _that woman – _she killed Sirius… Why didn't you let me kill her?"

Naruto's answer to this was resolute.

"Nothing good ever comes from revenge," he said. "Revenge will eat at you for days and days on end. Sometimes it will become your sole focus, and you'll place it above everything else: your friends, your family, your home. But," Naruto paused here, turning to face Harry and staring at him with all-knowing blue eyes. "When you get revenge, satisfaction won't come. You feel guilty, dead-inside, empty. And, at that point, you'll realise that moving on is better for the soul, no matter how much it initially hurts."

Harry paused and then thought this over. There was truth and wisdom in the blond's words, something which Harry sensed came from experience.

"I guess that's true," Harry conceded, frowning deeply.

"But I don't think I can forgive Bellatrix for what she did," Harry reasoned. "I don't think I can forgive myself for what _I _did. People are dead because of me…"

"We all make mistakes," Naruto said. "Just some of us screw up bigger than others."

Harry stared at the blond, trying to discern what he was thinking about.

"But," Naruto went on. "That doesn't stop us from trying our damned hardest to remedy them."

* * *

Dumbledore expected a lot of things when he portkeyed into his office nearly half an hour later. Harry destroying his possessions in a fit of rage, perhaps, or maybe even the black-haired teen crying, or even an injured Harry passed out on the floor with no sign of the blond; those he could have foreseen, but Harry Potter perfectly calm, seemingly at peace, chatting to the blond in a language Dumbledore couldn't understand? That was unexpected.

Surreptitiously, Dumbledore performed a rather advanced translation charm on the pair, in time to catch the end of their conversation.

"And then Iruka-sensei just comes out of nowhere and totally ambushes my escape! It was ridiculous!"

"Man," Harry was saying in the weird dialogue. "I don't ever want to let you near Fred and George; it'd be suicide for the rest of us…"

"But you know what I really hate apart from people who ruin my pranks?" the blond asked. Harry shook his head. "It's people who eavesdrop on _private conversations._"

The blond turned his head to glare at Dumbledore, straight into the old man's eyes.

Dumbledore allowed his eyes to twinkle innocently at the blond boy.

"You'll have to forgive me, my boy," Dumbledore said. "I will admit to curiosity being my one fatal flaw."

The blond tilted his head to the side, before shrugging and introducing himself.

"I'm Uzumaki Naruto," he said, nodding his head.

"Albus Dumbledore."

"Now that you're here," Naruto then went on, looking between the old man and Harry. "Perhaps you can tell me what the hell is going on?"

* * *

_Here's another chapter. I know it's shorter, but I just wanted to leave it at that for now._

_OK, I did update yesterday, but I freaked, hated it and pulled it down about half and hour afterards. So here is the REAL update!  
_

_Preview no jutsu! -  
_

* * *

Snape whirled around and was met with a snarling face.

"**I don't know who the hell you are," **a voice growled as two glowing eyes began to become visible.** "But I'm the only one who's allowed to screw with the Kit's mind."**

Flashes filled Snape's mind. Him being impaled on a spike, him being torn apart by large teeth, him trying, and failing to call for help as a monster played with his food: him.

"**I won't ask nicely. GET OUT!"**

* * *

_FIRST OFF: THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR ALL YOUR REVIEWS! Those are the most reviews I have EVER gotten for the first chapter of a story!_

_OK, in order to avoid confusion, Naruto has JUST defeated Pein. No literally, it happened yesterday._

_So, no, Naruto is not his normal God-like self. Though he is pretty badass._

_As for the whole 'fight with Bellatrix' debacle, here's my defence:_

"_In regards to Bellatrix dodging by luck, well I did kind of think it through. I personally have practised a martial art for over five years and the amount of times that I have avoided being pounded into the dirt because of 'pure luck' is quite large (most of the time, this consists of me tripping over my own feet just as my partner is going in for an attack)._

_Secondly, this isn't Naruto from present canon. He's JUST defeated Pein, and at this point 90% of his truly awesome shinobi skills are based on Sage Mode (at least the way I see it) and he was simply taken by surprise. He didn't expect to be hit by a silent, pretty much colourless beam of light because he was still off guard from his attack not hitting._

_'Sides, I just wanted to keep Bellatrix alive and this seemed like the easiest way."_

_What else do I have to deal with? Oh yeah, Naruto's personality._

_Here's the deal:_

_Naruto IS much more rational here than he is in canon and he is not, by any means, a dumbass. My reasoning for this is that his training for Sage Mode made him more observant etc. On the contrary to that, Naruto is still a wee bit dense in some respects, like mistaking Voldemort for Orochimaru. Where Orochimaru is concerned, I like to think Naruto's a bit … touchy, you know, since he pretty much orchestrated Sasuke's defection and killed the Sandaime, so he's probably going to overreact. Big time._

_Oh well, I accept criticism, so feel free to disagree with me on any of this stuff._

_Meh,_

_Let me know if I still got it._

_Over and Out,_

_FriedIce_


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter Three**

"I would like to nominate myself for the position of—" Danzo began, only to be interrupted by the opening of a door.

The council members, who had been sat in relative quiet, discussing the position of Rokudaime, all turned to see who dared to interrupt their meeting.

"Have you no respect?" Danzo demanded of the newcomers.

Standing in the doorway, looking remarkably serious for the occasion, was Hatake Kakashi, followed by Haruno Sakura and a hobbling Nara Shikamaru.

"We don't have time for your political plays, Danzo-sama," Kakashi said sharply, ignoring the death-glares he was receiving from the council members. "There are more pressing matters at hand. As of approximately 8:36 this morning, Uzumaki Naruto's chakra signature disappeared from Konoha."

Immediately, the council was thrown into uproar.

"Our Jinchuriki?!"

"—I bet it was those Kumo-nins—"

"—Damned brat went and got himself kidnapped—"

"—We're weakened enough as it is—"

"—If this is Akatsuki, we're screwed—"

Kakashi lazily called for silence by tapping on the wall with his fist.

"First off," Kakashi remarked. "We're pretty damned sure that it wasn't kidnapping."

Silence fell on the room for barely a moment, before the discussion restarted with twice as much fervour as before:

"Bloody demon brat went and defected—"

"—should've killed the brat when we had the chance—"

"—some 'Hero of the Leaf'—"

Once again, Kakashi called for slience.

"And we are also pretty sure that his leaving was not voluntary," Kakashi added.

All of the eyes of the council members were on Kakashi.

"Explain," Danzo commanded, taking control of the situation immediately.

"Shikamaru," Kakashi said lazily gesturing to the spiky-haired Nara. "You're up. Report."

Shikamaru hobbled forward.

"Yesterday at approximately 18:00 hrs, I was put in charge of Uzumaki Naruto's security by Nara Shikaku, our Jounin Commander. There were worries that Naruto would be targeted once news of Pein's defeat by his hand got out and by yesterday evening, it was clear that he was suffering severely from over-use of Sage Chakra and in need of rest. The time he would have to spend sleeping his exhaustion off was deemed by Shikaku-san to be a period in which he would be most likely to be attacked, and so, despite being incapable of fighting, I was put in charge of the squad responsible for Naruto's safety."

Shikamaru paused, taking a breath before continuing what he considered to be a 'troublesome' report.

"Among those making up the squad was a Hyuuga, whose main task was to observe the surroundings and warn the rest of the squad should a hostile chakra signature appear in his line of sight. We positioned Naruto in one of the few standing apartments, providing a few basic food supplies and set up a guard rota for the night. Hyuuga-san was on duty for the shift reaching from 0700 hrs to 1000 hrs. He reported that at approximately 8:30, Naruto woke up and made his way from the bed to the kitchen and proceeded to begin the process of making what appeared to be instant ramen. However, at 0836 hrs, Hyuuga-san reported that Naruto's chakra signature had quite literally disappeared.

"The only explanation for this would have been that Naruto was dead, but Hyuuga-san reported that he did not see the flare of demonic chakra that would have been generated from the seal's fail-safes activating and there were no hostile chakra signatures within a two mile radius.

"Upon investigation of the scene from which Naruto disappeared, evidence was found that suggested an effect similar to the _Hiraishin_ jutsu's, with similar chakra traces remaining, however, it does not appear to have been intentional as Hyuuga-san reports Naruto was barely half-dressed at the time this occurred, with no weapons on him apart from a pair of chopsticks.

"After analysing the evidence, our squad concluded that the most probable explanation for the events is that Uzumaki Naruto was unwillingly summoned from Konoha by an unknown factor."

Shikamaru bowed his head.

"Report concluded," he said formally.

For the third time that day, the council room was thrown into uproar.

* * *

"Perhaps you can tell me what the hell is going on?"

Dumbledore frowned.

"Maybe you should explain," he said. "How is it you came to be in the Department of Mysteries?"

"The Department of what?" Naruto asked, staring disbelievingly at Dumbledore. "All I want to know is why one minute I was making my breakfast, no problems, and the next I'm in the middle of a fight between Akatsuki wannabes and dodging flying lights." Naruto paused, sounding uncharacteristically irritated, before slapping his hand as if he remembered something. "Oh, and where can I get one of those stick you guys were fighting with? Those were awesome."

Dumbledore frowned.

"You mean to say that you aren't a wizard?" he asked eventually.

"What the hell's a wizard?" Naruto asked, his tone becoming irritated once more. "'Cos I'm pretty sure I'm not one."

Harry and Dumbledore both regarded Naruto in shock.

"So that wasn't magic?" Harry asked. "Then how on earth did you make all of those clones of yourself?"

Naruto looked at Dumbledore and Harry as if they were stupid.

"Chakra," he stated, "ever heard of it? You know, that fusion between your physical and spiritual energies that allows you to do all sorts of crazy stuff?"

"Explain," Dumbledore commanded, "and start at the beginning."

Naruto raised his eyebrows.

"The beginning?" he asked. When Dumbledore and Harry nodded, Naruto adopted a thoughtful pose. "Well, it all started around two thousand years ago when this guy we know as the Sage of Six Paths developed a use for…"

* * *

"And that's how the Senjuu and Uchiha clans were founded…"

* * *

"And then Senjuu Hashirama got tired of all the fighting between the clans and formed an alliance, founding a then tiny village known as Konohagakure no Sato…"

* * *

"Senjuu Tobirama then became the Nidaime, a man who would also lead Konohagakure to greatness…"

* * *

"The Nidaime's successor, the Sandaime, was a man by the name of Hiruzen Sarutobi…"

* * *

"The Third Shinobi War broke out, with Konohagakure fighting off offences from Iwagakura and Kumogakure, with Kusagakure stuck in the middle. It was during this time that a man named Namikaze Minato became infamous as Konoha's Yellow Flash…"

* * *

"Namikaze Minato was later named the Yondaime, and became a beloved Hokage, up until the tenth of October, when events passed that led to his death. After this, the Sandaime came out of retirement to take up the Hat once again…"

* * *

"I failed the genin exam, but took a replacement exam that allowed me to pass despite being unable to perform one of the Academy Three, and was assigned to Team 7 under a man named Hatake Kakashi…"

* * *

"And now, here I am, stuck here," Naruto finished his epic tale after skimming over the last few years.

Naruto began to smirk inwardly – but then pushed it down when he realised that smirking was Sasuke's domain – when he saw the agape faces of Dumbledore and Harry.

A tactic that the toads had mentioned in passing during their training was information dumping. It was a relatively simple technic used to resist informal interrogation, based on the idea of responding to broad questions with extremely broad answers.

Naruto had gone into detail in some areas, such as the legend of the Sage of Six Paths, and the formation of Konohagakure no Sato, but had skimmed rather briefly over his genin days and hadn't mentioned at all Sasuke's defection or the Kyuubi attack.

Now, it was time to see how the old man across from him dealt with his abridged history of Konoha in just under two hours.

"Interesting…" Dumbledore muttered. "So you say that you're a shinobi of a place called Konoha, right?"

"Right," Naruto said with a nod.

"And have been trained to fight since a young age, yes?"

"I suppose…"

"And that you honestly have no idea how you ended up in the Department of Mysteries?"

Naruto nodded in affirmative. The feeling of being sucked into his belly button had felt so unnatural. He much preferred the toads' way of summoning…

Naruto felt like hitting his head. How could he have forgotten that technique?

He was about to bite his thumb when Dumbledore interrupted him.

"I hope you'll excuse me, my dear boy, but we're going to have to confirm this," he explained. "If that's alright with you?"

Naruto thought for a moment. Truth drugs were useless on him – if such things actually existed – as the fox tended to burn through them in seconds. Any form of mind jumping technique wouldn't work, also due to the fox, so any hostile attempt to access his secrets should be foiled pretty easily.

Meh, why not? It wasn't as if Konoha was falling into disarray every second he was away…

* * *

"I hereby request that the disappearance of Uzumaki Naruto from Konoha be ranked an S Class secret," Kakashi said to the council.

"Granted," every council member said in unison.

Kakashi would have laughed if not for the severity of the situation.

It wasn't that Kakashi doubted Naruto's ability to look after himself. In fact, after yesterday, Kakashi was pretty sure that anyone who wanted to take on Naruto was going to have a hard time landing a hit on the boy-

-Somewhere, in a secret location, Bellatrix Lestrange sneezed-

-but Konoha couldn't take any more battering. Their strongest ninja was in a coma and what was supposed to be the backup in case circumstances like this happened had spent the best part of the day arguing over who was to replace Tsunade as Hokage.

Naruto would have provided much needed stability in a situation such as this, being able to rush to the village's defences if they were invaded again in their weakened state. But Naruto, their powerhouse of a ninja, had just disappeared.

Not only that, but the underlying worry that Akatsuki had gotten to Naruto was eating at Kakashi. He was the Kyuubi jinchuriki and quite possibly the only thing stopping them from completing their plans. Which made him valuable. Very valuable.

And though Kakashi knew that Naruto would hate it, it was quite possible that he was better off hidden for the time being.

* * *

"Professor Dumbledore, you can't be serious!" Harry exclaimed, looking between Snape and the headmaster.

"I'm afraid I am, Harry," Dumbledore said gravely, speaking now in English, the translation spell having worn off after Naruto's epic history lesson. "The fact of the matter remains that we aren't sure if Naruto is our ally or our enemy and, as Snape has informed us, Ms Umbridge used up the last of our Veritaserum stocks. This is our only option."

"But it's an invasion of privacy!" Harry said.

"An invasion of his privacy is far better than a breach in our security," Dumbledore said calmly. "I hope you understand that while normally this would not be considered the ideal path, we don't have much choice as of present."

"What's going on?" Naruto asked Harry in that funny language of his.

"Nothing," Harry replied easily before turning back to argue with Dumbledore again. "This isn't right! You can't just enter someone's mind like that without their consent!"

"Watch your mouth Potter," Snape snarled. "Because I can and I _will_."

"Severus, please, be civil," Dumbledore chided lightly. "Why don't we ask Mr Uzumaki over here then for his consent?"

Dumbledore looked expectantly at Naruto.

"What?" the blond said, returning Dumbledore's look with a mirror image of it.

"He's asking if it's OK if he can go into your mind, rifle through your memories and then see if you're telling the truth," Harry explained, paraphrasing.

Naruto raised his eyebrows, seemingly weighing up the options in his head.

"He can try," he eventually settled on.

There was a small smile tugging at the edges of Naruto's lips. Harry stared at it. What was he planning?

"Naruto says your welcome to try," Harry said reluctantly. He could almost feel the smirk on Snape's lips as he spoke.

"Right Mr Uzumaki," Dumbledore said. "3… 2… 1…"

Snape pointed his wand at Naruto.

"_Legilimens!"_

* * *

Snape's first thought when he entered Uzumaki Naruto's mind was a rather inappropriate pun on the saying 'get your mind out of the gutter'.

It had to be one of the more unusual mindscapes he had seen, Snape admitted, given that even _having _a mindscape tended to signify training in occlumency and so far, Snape hadn't encountered any form of defences…

Something stirred behind him. A low growl that made Snape's blood curdle just from the sound echoed throughout the chamber.

Snape whirled around and was met with a snarling face.

Panic boiled up inside Snape. No defences? Really? Then what was this?

Hot breath congealed around Snape, making him gag as the smell of long rotten flesh filled his nostrils.

It was so … real.

"**I don't know who the hell you are," **a voice growled as two glowing eyes began to become visible.** "But I'm the only one who's allowed to screw with the Kit's mind."**

Flashes filled Snape's mind. Him being impaled on a spike, him being torn apart by large teeth, him trying, and failing to call for help as a monster played with his food: him.

These were just images, he told himself, nothing to be afraid of. Just pictures…

"**I won't ask nicely. Leave, mortal."**

The force of the mental block that hit him was unlike anything Snape had ever felt before. The truth is that generally, whilst the initial infiltration of a mind may be difficult, staying put is relatively easy. To have the willpower to forcefully throw someone from your mind is a skill that even Snape found hard to master.

Anyone other than Snape would have been sent spiralling out of Uzumaki's mind and probably put into a small coma. But, Snape considered his mastery of Legilimency and Occlumency his pride and glory and, whilst he needed a visible effort to stay put, he remained mostly unaffected by the mental block.

A demonic growl reverberated around the sewer…

It was almost like… it was laughing.

"**You're just as stubborn as the Kit,"** the voice continued. **"But far less endearing…" **Another 'chuckle' resounded around Snape, causing the water at his ankles to vibrate.** "You want to see his memories? I'll show you memories…"**

Images began to flood over Snape…

_Hurt…_

"_Am I really just a monster..?"_

_Loneliness…_

"_Why do they hate me..?"_

_Betrayal…_

"_SASUKE!"_

_Agony…_

"_Oh dear Kami, the pain… The burning, corroding torture… There is a hole … in my chest…"_

_Grief…_

"_He's dead… He's really dead…"_

_Guilt… Suffering… Vengeance…_

A never ending stream of emotion passed over Snape and this time, when the demonic voice growled, Snape didn't even hear.

"**Had enough, mortal?" **the voice was taunting him… **"I can go on for hours and hours should you so please…" **Another chuckle. **"You disappoint me, mortal. I won't tell you again: leave."**

This time, the mental block was a crashing wave of demonic power that left Snape gasping for air.

Snape was sent flying from Uzumaki's mind and, rather dryly remarked to himself that he was going to have one hell of a headache when he awoke.

* * *

Dumbledore watched in shock as Snape collapsed in pain, clutching his forhead, Naruto just staring impassively all the while.

"Life lesson for you," Naruto said in his language, turning to Harry. "Never try to enter a jinchuriki's mind."

Harry stared at Snape in open shock, then glanced back at Naruto.

"Don't worry," Naruto commented offhandedly. "The last person who tried to do that to me recovered within a day or two."

Harry blinked, before translating what the blond had said for Dumbledore.

Dumbledore just nodded before turning to Harry.

"Harry, could you run and fetch Madame Pomphrey? I fear Professor Snape may need a bed in the hospital wing tonight."

Harry threw a look back at Dumbeldore and Naruto before turning and running off.

Dumbledore turned back to Naruto. He was going to have to do this the old-fashioned way.

"Mr Uzumaki," he said coldly. "I think it's best that we discuss your intentions."

* * *

Sakura looked at her unconscious master and Hokage with sorrow in her eyes. She looked so…

…_pale…_

…_lifeless…_

…peaceful. She looked like she was merely sleeping.

"Stop being lazy, shishou," she said in a chiding voice to the unconscious woman. "Get up and do some work. There's tons of paperwork just piling up without you there to do anything about it…"

Sakura sighed.

"Come on, Tsunade-sama, we need you," she whispered. "Naruto's gone and we need you…"

Sakura pushed herself up from beside the bed before checking the machines.

"I'll be back tomorrow," she said. "If Kakashi hasn't become Hokage in place of Danzo… Can you imagine that?" She shivered. "We'd never get anything done."

Sakura shook her head, before turning out the lights in Tsunade's room.

"See you later, OK?"

* * *

Hermione Granger was worried. She'd woken up just ten minutes ago to be informed that Harry was still talking to the headmaster, that Sirius was dead and that Voldemort had been acknowledged as returned.

At first, she'd been relieved. Harry needed time to work through his guilt and right now, Dumbledore was the best thing for that.

But when she'd seen Harry come charging into the Hospital Wing three minutes ago, demanding Madame Pomphrey's presence in the Headmaster's office, she'd started to think things through.

Harry hadn't looked like he was depressed or suicidal, but instead that he was worried. And whatever had made Harry worry was certainly cause for Hermione to be worried too.

She mentally checked off all the times that Harry'd been worried…

There'd been that time in first year when they thought someone was after the stone … and someone had been.

There'd been that time in second year with all the hype with the Chamber … and Ginny had almost died.

There'd been that time in third year when they were up against a werewolf … enough said.

Then there'd been fourth year when Harry had had to compete in a tournament with high casualties … and Voldemort had come back.

And fifth year, when Harry had headed to the DoM and … well, Hermione was in a hospital bed.

Ginny was sat on the end of the bed, making light conversation about something she'd read in Witch Weekly and how the magazine was a load of rubbish held together by cheap glue; something which Hermione normally would have engaged with energetically, but now…

…Hermione was worried.

"You're scared for him, aren't you?" Ginny whispered to Hermione, bringing her out of her musings.

Hermione nodded her head.

"Me too," Ginny said. "I can't help but feel … Oh it's stupid. Forget I said anything."

Hermione stared expectantly at Ginny.

"I feel like something's brewing," Ginny explained. "Like this is just the beginning."

"That's because it is," Hermione whispered back, her voice hoarse.

"This is all just the beginning."

A pause.

"And I can tell, Ginny, that it won't end well."

* * *

_A/N: Another chapter! YES! Well, this one was hell to write, but I wrote it nonetheless, because I'm awesome like that._

_Right, issues time:_

_1 – Is Harry an Uchiha? Hmm.. thought of it. No. He's not. He's just a kid who smashed a prophecy._

_2 – Shouldn't Harry be dead? He picked up a prophecy that didn't belong to him. Hmm… Also thought of it. All will be revealed in due time, my dear friends._

_3 – Why can Harry speak Japanese? Also thought of this question, but I think it'll be revealed next chapter, so I'll keep silent for now.. Teehee._

_4 – Will some characters be OOC? Yes. Yes. HELL yes. I think that in Harry Potter, a lot of the characters have potential to be considered AWESOME but… they never get there. Ginny is underdeveloped in particular, something I plan to remedy. In my opinion, Hermione is actually one of my favourite characters. This is because she's smart, she's skilled, but all in all, she's just an ordinary girl. An ordinary girl who's just doing her best to roll with the punches, despite being terrified._

_5 – Will Dumbledore's evilness be overdone? No. If anything, it will be underdone. Harry doesn't hate Dumbledore and recognises that he's fighting for the good, but Harry's just sick of being used._

_Preview no jutsu!_

* * *

"Uh," Harry stumbled for words. "Let me introduce you to Naruto."

Hermione, Ginny, Neville and Ron merely gaped at the blond in front of them, who still wasn't wearing a shirt.

"Um, hi?" he said nervously. "My name's Uzumaki Naruto…" Naruto trailed off, before remembering the Kakashi introduction method. "I have likes and dislikes," he went on, "very many hobbies and I also have a dream for the future. Nice to meet you."

* * *

_So yeah, by the way, the Bellatrix sneezing thing goes out to all those who complained about her hitting Naruto with a spell. Thank you for voicing your concerns. I like honesty._

_Well, once again: THANK YOU SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO (sorry, got a bit carried away with the 'O's) MUCH FOR REVIEWING!_

_Speaking of reviews, I'm actually curious as to how many of you read my A/Ns. So, if you do read them, leave the word 'bob' somewhere in your review. This way, people will either be extremely confused as to why there's the word 'bob' in so many reviews or laughing because they read my A/N. Example: I think leaving 'bob' in reviews is stupid-bob._

_Let me know what you thought,_

_Over and out,_

_FriedIce_

_PS: Review!_


	4. Chapter 4

**Of Prophecies and Ramen**

* * *

**Pre-chapter notes: **this chapter goes out to all who 'bob'd. You know who you are :P

* * *

**Chapter Four**

Naruto blearily opened his eyes, taking in the unfamiliar surroundings calmly. His cerulean eyes focused in one the curtains around his bedframe, the old bricks making up the walls and the old-fashioned glass windows.

Well, he was most definitely not in Konoha anymore.

Naruto sighed and looked around for some clothes to put on, finding only the trousers he had been wearing yesterday. Shrugging, Naruto pulled the trousers on and headed towards the door, sparing one last glance back at the room.

There were six beds in the room, all pushed against the wall so that there was a relatively large space in the centre. The circular layout of the room seemed reminiscent of being in a tower.

Taking a deep breath, Naruto headed down the spiral staircase, still sorting through memories of yesterday.

He couldn't remember walking up the stairs and falling into the bed he'd awoken in, which meant that he had probably collapsed some random place from exhaustion. Maa, he really needed to get out of that habit… Kakashi-sensei always said it was a rather unhealthy habit for a shinobi

When Naruto reached the bottom of the stairs, he was met by four pairs of inquisitive eyes and a last, weary pair belonging to Harry.

* * *

"What happened yesterday, Harry?" Hermione asked. "You were talking to Dumbledore for a long time."

They were sat in the Gryffindor common room, enjoying the day off from school they had all been given due to the incident at the DoM. Harry was sat in his favourite battered chair by the empty fire place and next to him, seated awkwardly on a small sofa, were Ron and Hermione. Ginny had taken up residence in another armchair, instead choosing to sit sideways in it, with the lower part of her legs dangling over the armrest.

"And who was that blond guy, Harry; you know him?" Neville added from his position on the floor, playing with a plant.

"Yeah, are you okay, mate?" Ron asked.

Harry looked between all of them like a rabbit trapped in a car's headlights.

However, before he could even begin to explain, a shuffling could be heard from up the stairs in the dormitories.

"Who's that Harry?" Ginny asked, her eyes flicking to the entrance from the dormitories. "Everyone else has left for the day."

The blond's footsteps were silent.

"Er…" Harry said articulately.

Naruto's head of yellow hair appeared in the entrance way at almost that exact moment, providing ample distraction.

"Uh," Harry stumbled for words. "Let me introduce you to Naruto."

Hermione, Ginny, Neville and Ron merely gaped at the blond in front of them, who still wasn't wearing a shirt.

"Um, yo?" he said nervously. "My name's Uzumaki Naruto…" Naruto trailed off, before remembering the Kakashi introduction method. "I have likes and dislikes," he went on, "very many hobbies and I also have a dream for the future. Nice to meet you."

Ron outright stared dumbly at Naruto, his eyes fixated on the whisker marks on his cheeks.

Neville and Ginny shared a look, most likely recognising him from the multiple blond clones they'd seen on the battlefield.

Hermione had adopted a thoughtful pose.

Harry just blinked.

"Naruto, that was English!" he exclaimed suddenly realising what was wrong.

"Really?" Naruto asked, frowning. "It sounded like Japanese…"

"That was Japanese?" Harry realised.

"Well, what else would it be?" Naruto said in rhetoric. "Just because Konoha is a _little_ eccentric doesn't mean we've invented our own language… We do_ work _you know…"

"Am I the only one who is lost here?" Ron demanded.

"Nope," Hermione said.

"We're all in the same boat here," Ginny added with a grin.

Naruto scowled childishly at them, whilst Harry laughed.

"I guess I owe you guys an explanation, right?"

* * *

Harry's narration of the events was both for Naruto's benefit as well as that of his friends, even though Luna wasn't present, and for the most part, they listened in silence. Harry spoke sharply, his tone taking on the one he always had to use to explain his adventures to the headmaster, but he was vague about certain points, like the fact that he had seen a prophecy with his name on it. Naruto's head perked up when he heard the word 'prophecy', but otherwise he reacted minimally, posing unobtrusive questions … up until a certain point…

"And so I looked down, and in my hand was a prophecy, different from the one I had originally intended to pick up. So, I turned the label over, and there, written on it, were the words 'Child of the Prophecy'—"

Naruto's eyes widened as he stood up in shock, placing the pieces together in his head.

It was the kind of stupid crazy that would happen in one of Jiraiya-sensei's books… It couldn't be possible…

"Tell me about it!" Naruto begged Harry, gripping his shoulders. "Please! What did it say?"

Harry blinked innocently at Naruto.

"What?" he asked.

"The prophecy!" Naruto declared. "What did it say? Please, tell me!"

"I didn't hear," Harry admitted. "I threw it to the ground when things got bad. It just exploded into a plume of smoke. After that, the battle started, then the next thing I know, the battlefield is covered by literally thousands of clones of you…"

Naruto seemed to deflate.

"This sucks," he said bitterly, before beginning to mutter in his own language. All Harry caught were the words 'promise' and 'he said he believed in me'.

Harry titled his head to the side as Naruto's normal, bright demeanour immediately changed to a sour, sulky one.

"I've got something I need to do," Naruto eventually mumbled, standing up and excusing himself.

The five of them watched him leave in silence.

"Strange guy," Ron said finally, if only to fill the void of conversation.

Harry snorted, still looking at the place Naruto had been.

"You don't know the half of it."

* * *

Uzumaki Naruto prided himself on the fact that very little could faze him now. He'd pretty much seen it all, what with his childhood and genin days, but…

It was just so infuriating!

To come so close to figuring out what he was meant to do as the stupid, dumbass Child of the Prophecy, and then have it ripped away from him like that…

He had people counting on him, damnit! Jiraya-sensei… Nagato… The Yondaime, no, his father…

It was so much pressure.

Sometimes, Naruto wished he'd just remained his old knucklehead self. In a situation like this, the old Naruto would have just shrugged, because he'd figure it out in his own time. But, Naruto, the new, sage-mode training completed Naruto, couldn't just do that.

He felt the pressure on him, could feel the responsibility that came with being the Hero of the Leaf.

Naruto shook the negative thoughts out of his head. He was becoming like Sasuke, damnit!

Sasuke… That was another thing. He'd made Sakura a promise, one which he intended to keep, but not because Sasuke deserved it. He'd keep the promise because Sasuke was hurting Sakura, something which Naruto could see clear as day, and because Sasuke had been his best friend. And friends looked out for each other, even if they were being stupid. So, Naruto was resolved to drag Sasuke back to Konoha, beating sense into him in the process, because both of his ex-teammates needed it.

Did Naruto need it?

He wasn't so sure anymore.

Before, it had been just about Sasuke.

Get stronger. Drag him back. Everything would be fine.

Yet, now, he had a dumbass, stupid prophecy weighing down on him.

And Sasuke was so far down the path to darkness that Naruto wasn't sure he _could _even bring him back.

Naruto sighed.

He'd been putting it off for long enough already.

He brought his thumb up to his mouth and bit down.

It was time to return to Konoha.

* * *

Naruto felt his spirits instantly rise when he 'poofed' into Konoha. There was something about the Hidden Leaf that made Naruto feel at home. With his classic grin, Naruto dashed off to Hokage Tower to tell the old hag all about his adventure in the Ministry of Magic.

"You'll never believe what just happened to me!" Naruto declared as he threw open the door to the Hokages office.

"If I'll never believe it, then why are you going to tell me?"

Formal robes… Gravity defying hair… One visible eye…

"Kakashi-sensei?!"

* * *

Sakura sighed as she took the scroll off the messenger hawk, noting the Hokage seal on it. Since Kakashi had been given his job as proxy just under three hours ago, he'd taken great delight in abusing his powers at every opourtunity. The last time Sakura had opened one of the scrolls he'd sent, she had been greeted with the title of 'D-Rank Mission: Fetch Kakashi Some Snacks'.

So, it was with a nervous anticipation that Sakura opened the scroll, quickly decoding the contents.

_Sakura,_

_Ichiraku just introduced a new ramen topping. I think we should try it out. Meet me at the Hokage's office ASAP and we might get in before the lunch rush._

_-Sensei _

Sakura blinked. Kakashi sucked at code. Well, at least Naruto was back...

She sighed, checking Tsunade's vitals one last time before handing shift duty over to the resident medic-nin.

"I'll be back, shishou."

* * *

"Kakashi-sensei?!" Naruto exclaimed in pure shock. "What are you doing here? And, more importantly," Naruto said, gesturing to the hat he was wearing, "how are you fitting that hat over your hair?"

Kakashi eye-smiled at Naruto.

"To answer your questions, Naruto, I have been named as Tsunade's proxy whilst she is still recovering and, as for the hat," here Kakashi paused and winked (? – did it count as this? He only had one visible eye so Naruto couldn't tell), "a true magician never reveals his secrets."

Naruto scowled at Kakashi, who merely smiled that infuriating eye-smile of his.

"Speaking of," Naruto said suddenly, "you'll never guess what happened to me yesterday!"

"No, I think I can come somewhat close, though," Kakashi said. "You awoke at around 8:30 in a strange apartment, then went into the kitchen and started to make breakfast. Then, at 8:36, you disappeared from Konoha in a puff of smoke. Am I right?"

Naruto shot Kakashi a sarcastic glare.

"Actually, Kakashi-sensei, something else happened," he said eventually, his tone suddenly taking a more serious inflection. "Because one moment I'm in Konoha and the next, I'm standing in this place called the Ministry of Magic…"

* * *

Harry stared at the Marauder's Map, slowly checking all of the rooms in the castle for Naruto's name.

"He's not here," he said eventually.

Hermione frowned.

"That's not right, where else could he be?" she said, snatching the map from Harry. "Let me check."

Hermione gave the map a once over before handing it back to Harry.

"What about the Room of Requirement? That doesn't show up on the map."

"Umbridge did a number on it, remember," Ginny added, lazily reaching over from her chair and taking the map once more from Harry's hands to stare at it too.

"But this does raise an important question, Harry," Hermione said. "If Naruko—" Harry winced when she mangled the blond's name, "—isn't on the map, he isn't in Hogwarts."

"Maybe he used an alias," Neville piped up.

"It doesn't make sense," Hermione shot the suggestion down. "If he's from where he says he is, somewhere so far away from here it's not even funny, then he has very little reason to use an alias."

"What if he's a Death Eater in disguise?" Ron added.

Harry looked at Ron like he'd just told him that he was thinking of _becoming _a Death Eater.

"Ron, if he was a Death Eater, he would have killed me back in the Ministry, in Dumbledore's office or any of the hundred and one times we have been alone together over the past 24 hours. Besides, I watched him cut Voldemort's arm off with an attack. That doesn't sound to me like something a Death Eater would do."

Ron seemed to consider this for a second before his eyes widened.

"He _cut _You-Know-Who's arm off?!" he suddenly exclaimed with such energy he almost hit himself on a coffee table as he stood up.

"Yeah, with some kind of wind attack," Harry replied.

"OK, my respect for him has just skyrocketed," Ron stated, sinking back down into his seat.

"Besides," Ginny pointed out, throwing the map back to Harry, "Dumbledore cleared him. He can't be that bad."

"Yeah, after he knocked Professor Snape out," Hermione mumbled.

"Wait! He knocked Professor Snape out too?!" Ron exclaimed. "OK, Blondie is officially a hero in my books."

Harry was oddly silent throughout all of this.

"About Dumbledore," he finally said, his voice a whisper. "I've made a decision."

* * *

"So you had the toads set a Well up in this Hogwarts place?" Kakashi asked.

"Well, yeah," Naruto replied, guiltily rubbing the back of his head. "It was such an interesting place!" he exclaimed in defence. "And I still hadn't found out where to get one of those sticks…"

Sakura was watching Naruto with pursed lips, already able to see what Kakashi was thinking. She'd burst into the room nearly ten minutes ago, hit Naruto over the head for making everyone worry and then sat down to be briefed on what happened.

The scholar within Sakura was fascinated, but the Shinobi was wary. This 'bumble-character' – she hadn't quite caught his name – was dangerous. Despite having gone up several leagues in sense during his Sage training, Naruto was, after all, still Naruto and he had a tendency to … how to put it? Ah, yes, brag.

"What techniques did they see you use?" Sakura asked, her tone clipped.

Naruto suddenly looked very guilty.

"Um…" he mumbled. "_Kage bunshin, Rasengan…_" Naruto took a deep breath before mumbling two last technique names under his breath.

"What," Sakura demanded, much to Kakashi mirth, "was that?"

"Um… _Rasenshurikenandmaybealittle ofsagemode._"

Sakura blinked for a second.

Then, she flew off the rails.

"WHO THE HELL DID YOU LOB A _RASENSHURIKEN _AT?!"

* * *

Hermione Jane Granger liked to consider herself a good friend. She'd done all sorts of outrageous things to help Harry over the years, literally walking through fire to find him aid.

That said, the DoM had been the first real time she'd seen the front lines.

And it had terrified her to the core.

DADA had always been her worst subject, Hermione knew that much, but she'd forced her way through, because Harry was going to need her there in the future. She'd known she would … but when she'd seen just what she was up against, it had scared her.

But Harry … Harry had just calmly taken charge, coming up with action plans on the spot, keeping a clear head all the while she'd been freaking out.

And she'd gone with it. Because Harry was Harry. He was their leader and she trusted him implicitly.

Yet…

Harry, the person who they all gravitated towards, was beginning to lose his footing. He was confused, Hermione could see that, but he seemed resolute in one thing: he wasn't going to be a part of a plan he knew nothing of.

Hermione could sympathise, but it was strange. Hogwarts had always been their home. Everything is relative, they would say, but Hogwarts stayed the same. It was safe – most of the time – and impenetrable. It was their fortress.

The thought that she might lose that, even that, scared Hermione almost as much as the Death Eaters had.

But she was a good friend, right? So she would follow Harry, because ninety per cent of the time, Harry was right and when he was wrong, it was due to his hero complex.

For some reason, Hermione thought that _this _was so much more than a stupid hero complex.

And, if she was going to keep up with Harry, she was going to need every hex possible in her arsenal.

Hermione Jane Granger was a good friend. But she would also take any excuse possible to order more books.

* * *

Haruno Sakura loved Naruto like a brother. She knew without a doubt that the blond idiot would go to the ends of the earth and back for Konoha, for her even, and she would throw herself in front of a kunai for him without even thinking.

She didn't _love _him like she knew Hinata did, but Naruto was irreplaceable.

So, when Kakashi told Naruto to go back to the Hogwarts place, she blinked in surprise before mercilessly quashing the pang of numbness that came with his declaration.

"What? Why?" Naruto had demanded.

Sakura was in half a mind to ask the same.

"Look, Naruto," Kakashi explained. "Konoha at the moment is a political mine field. Right now, I only managed to get this position as proxy out of the hands of Danzo through some of the skills I learnt years ago from my sensei."

Kakashi took a deep breath.

"The truth of the matter is that although we've beaten Pein—"

"Nagato," Naruto interrupted. "His name was Nagato."

"Right, Nagato," Kakashi corrected absentmindedly. "Although we've defeated Nagato, Konoha is merely a shadow of its former self. Our Hokage is knocked out, in a coma—"

Sakura flinched.

"—and our council was, until I stepped in, using this as an opportunity to usurp her power. Now, we're on the brink of war and the last thing we want is to give Akatsuki anything they need. Which means, Naruto, that we need you as far away from here as possible."

Kakashi now had both Sakura and Naruto's rapt attention.

"I've never, for the life of me, heard of this Hogwarts place, which means, most likely, that neither have Akatsuki. So, it's the most logical place to hide you right now."

"You want me to hide away?" Naruto demanded. Seeing Kakashi's nod, he flared up. "You said it yourself! Konoha's weak as hell at the moment! You need as many people back here to defend it as possible! Why the hell are you sending me away?"

Kakashi's one visible eye narrowed.

"Listen up Naruto," he said sternly. "And listen well. I know you love this village. I do too. But, Naruto, there are some things out there more important than Konoha and, if Akatsuki succeeds, we have reason to believe that all of this will be crushed."

Naruto swallowed his protests. He wasn't that child anymore.

"Naruto, as your Hokage," Kakashi said, "or at least, your Hokage's proxy, I order you, return to Hogwarts and hide there until you receive further instruction. Leave a toad here for that."

Naruto sighed.

"Hai," he said bitterly, then, he used the two words he had never once said, "Hokage-sama."

* * *

Ginerva Molly Weasley had grown up overshadowed by her brothers.

Neville Longbottom had grown up struggling to follow in his parent's footsteps.

Ronald Billius Weasley had grown up with hand-me-downs and boots too big to fill.

Hermione Jane Granger had grown up in a castle of books.

Luna Lovegood had never really grown up.

They were all different, frightfully so, with different pasts and even more vastly different presents, but they were united in one thing. When Harry James Potter told them he no longer trusted Dumbledore, they all did the same thing. They nodded and accepted it.

Because Harry James Potter would _never _leave one of his friends to die, it was the least they could do to stand by him.

And, just as he would jump in front of a curse for them, they would do the same for him.

And, when those words were spoken, clear as day, Harry Potter knew he had the best friends – the best comrades – he could ever hope for.

"We trust you, Harry."

* * *

_ARGHHHHHH I HATE YOU 3 PAGES MINIMUM ENGLISH ESSAY! ARGHHHH! WHY CAN'T YOU BE NICE AND EASY TO WRITE!?_

_Anyway, now that that's over, hello again! Sorry I missed a week, but last weekend was pretty hectic. You know, English essay and all._

_Anyway, HOLY COW! You guys rock! 110 reviews? I had to refresh the page because I thought it was lying! Thanks so much!_

_Preview no jutsu!_

* * *

Naruto looked Dumbledore hard in the eye.

"The offer we talked about before?" he asked.

Dumbledore's eyes twinkled. Naruto scowled at them.

"I accept," he said curtly.

* * *

_Well, that's that. Currently, there's a poll on my profile as to whether I should include other ninjas in this story, so you know, go check it out._

_OK, after seeing how many of you actually read my A/Ns, (bob to you too), I'm starting an omake competition. Not really a competition, but here's the plan._

* * *

**_Snape's Potion Lesson Omake Challenge!_**

**_Write a relatively short omake about a character from the Narutoverse being in one of Snape's Potion Lessons. It can be anyone, from Rock Lee to Anko (no seriously, I WANT to see those two) and can have anything happening. It should be funny, or whatever, so go crazy guys._**

* * *

_Anyway, thanks again to all who 'bob'd – you guys rock!_

_Oh, and I know I said I'd reveal why they can speak the different languages in this chapter, but you guys will just have to wait. I have thought of it!_

_Over and out,_

_FriedIce_

_PS: Review! Go on! You know you want to…_


	5. Chapter 5

**Of Prophecies and Ramen**

**Chapter Five**

When asked about their sister, Fred and George would generally only give the poor soul two pieces of advice. The first was that they should always be wary of overprotective older brothers. The second was that they should always be very wary of Ginny herself.

What most people failed to see past was that Ginny was remarkably attractive. Stunning, actually. But there is one thing you have to bear in mind when people grow up constantly being told they are beautiful: they get to a point when they can't stand to hear it anymore.

Ginny hit this point in her second year, when, combined with her overall horror at the events that occurred in the Chamber, the teenage instinct to rebel kicked in.

To say Ginny was a tomboy was an understatement. Ginny _loathed _being treated like a girl.

She struggled constantly to get people to acknowledge her for herself, not her looks, and to keep up with her brothers.

The DA had been like a dream come true for her – a chance to prove and train herself for the future.

And in attending the DA, Ginny had realised something. Harry Potter wasn't just some far-fetched idol, some knight in shining armour who had rescued her from a basilisk, or her brother's best friend … He was human too.

At first, Ginny had just been thrilled to be included.

And now it came down to it, she realised that being 'included' wasn't just about playing hero; it was a one-way ticket to the front lines.

But Ginny didn't care. Because she'd finally found something deeper than the shallow attentions the girls in her year gave her: she had comrades.

She hadn't really _known _Harry in depth for a long time, but when he said he no longer trusted Dumbledore, she'd bitten her instinctual reaction of 'you're crazy' and nodded reassuringly at him, waiting for an explanation. Because, when it came down to it, he'd trusted her enough to tell her this and she reasoned she could at least trust him enough to hear him out.

"You're crazy, Harry!"

Unfortunately, her brother wasn't quite so understanding.

Ginny didn't miss the completely calm look of acceptance that Harry showed Ron, seeming to say 'so I've been told'.

"In the DoM," Harry explained slowly. "I began to notice things. Little things. I didn't want to believe it, but when I put it all together, it just made somuch sense. Dumbledore's been playing us like a game all year and for god knows how long before that."

"Harry," Hermione said. "Are you sure about this? I mean, it's _Dumbledore_."

Harry nodded, refusing to meet any of their eyes.

"I know it's hard to accept," he said. "But I just don't trust Dumbledore anymore."

Harry was staring at his feet, green eyes apprehensive, as if waiting for rejection. Ginny placed one hand on Harry's shoulder.

"Harry," she said quietly. "I don't know what's made you think this, and I don't think I'll ever understand, but we're comrades."

Behind her, Ron, Hermione and Neville were nodding.

"We trust you, Harry."

* * *

"Are you ready, Naruto?" Kakashi asked, staring at the blond before him.

After much persuasion from both him and Sakura, they'd finally managed to get Naruto to trade in his orange jumpsuit for something more stealthy – if only for the duration of his time at Hogwarts.

Naruto nodded.

Kakashi had been kind enough to lend him some sealing scrolls, which Naruto had filled with various important items, from instant ramen to weapons to spare chopsticks with which to eat his ramen. On top of that, Kakashi had also given him six jutsu scrolls – containing wind jutsu – which he was supposed to master to make up for his lack of long range techniques – getting clones to throw you whilst holding a _Rasengan _didn't count, Kakashi insisted.

Sakura was fussing over him, giving him reminders such as 'don't forget to brush your teeth' and other phrases that over all made Naruto feel uncomfortable. The only person who had ever taken such an interest in him was Tsunade and she… Well, she wasn't here.

Naruto's temporary return to Konoha had been a closely guarded secret, in particular withheld from the Council members. Kakashi said he had been afraid that Naruto's reappearance would destroy the somewhat begrudging cooperation that they had managed to establish. Naruto had merely shrugged, but said nothing, sending a clear message to Kakashi: Naruto didn't like this one bit, but he was begrudgingly complying.

Kakashi had, many times in the past, been subject to Naruto's insults. The young Uzumaki had, it seemed, the unusual gift of being able to be extremely insulting when it was most inappropriate, and unable to come up with anything remotely offensive when it was.

The 'insults' Naruto had thrown at him had lacked bite, as if they were merely playful jibes at Kakashi's character. In fact, Kakashi now realised, that was all they had been.

Naruto wasn't an idiot, he just lacked the ability to be truly spiteful.

Now, however, every single time he heard the phrase 'Hokage-sama', it was like being stabbed in the heart. The Sandaime, not even the Godaime, had afforded such a title and him, someone who was merely a proxy, was on the receiving end of it.

It was childish of Naruto, they both knew that, but it didn't stop it from hurting Kakashi.

Kakashi took a deep breath, resolving himself to doing what he knew he had to do.

"Naruto," he said slowly.

"Hokage-sama?" Naruto asked, his tone deceptively light.

Kakashi winced once again. He had to do this. The silver-haired proxy handed Naruto a sealed scroll, one with the words '_Namikaze Naruto'_ written in elegant script across the top. He had kept this from Naruto for too long.

"This was written by your father," he explained. "He had a lot of enemies and, if he died, we were supposed to give this to you on your sixteenth birthday, or when you reached chuunin, whichever came first."

Naruto's hands were shaking as he took hold of the scroll.

"Happy Birthday," Kakashi said.

Sakura was staring at the scroll in shock.

"Kaka-sensei," she said. "Why is the scroll addressed to _Namikaze _Naruto? Naruto's surname is Uzumaki. And the only person I've heard of with the surname Namikaze was the Yond—"

Her eyes widened as she looked between Naruto and her sensei.

The blond hair. The blue eyes. The _Rasengan. _The toads.

She really should have pieced this one together.

"Oh kami."

* * *

Subaku no Gaara didn't get much personal mail.

Occasionally, he would receive a letter from Naruto, one which would usually contain much rambling about how perverted his sensei was, or what new flavour of ramen he had found, but generally, he only got a letter once every few months.

Of course, Gaara would always take time out of his day to write a reply, then reread it to make sure he didn't come across as a psychopath. They didn't talk about their ninja careers, but recently, Gaara had taken to bemoaning that he feared his sister was getting far too close to that Nara guy…

Nevermind.

So, when Gaara found himself staring down at a letter addressed to him – not to the Godaime Kazekage – he was immediately apprehensive.

His mind started to whir as he tried to match the handwriting… It wasn't Nauto's.

Perhaps, it was Shikamaru asking for permission to date Temari. It would fit with the lazy Nara's psyche profile; visiting and asking him in person would be too troublesome, no?

Maybe, Gaara considered, it was that creepy green-clad guy with the bowl cut. Crap, he could want to sue for damages… Nah, Gaara thought, the guy had accepted his apology almost the moment he'd made it, shouting something about youth as he did so.

Gaara sighed and opened the letter.

_Dear Gaara,_

_See you soon._

Gaara looked over the small letter yet again. No signature.

Great, he thought, another piece of mis-delivered mail. You'd think with a name as ostentatious as Subaku no Gaara, people would stop sending you crud by mistake. Or, Gaara considered, he could have a stalker. The redheaded ex-jinchuriki shuddered at the prospect.

Gaara crushed the letter in his palm.

"Gaara, you coming?" Temari called to him.

Of course he was coming; it was a _Kage _Summit. It wasn't like he could just turn the invitation down.

"What are you doing in there?" Kankuro called. "Putting on makeup?"

"No," Gaara said back, emerging from his room with an uncharacteristic smile on his face. "That would be you."

And so, the three siblings set off.

* * *

Naruto appeared inside Hogwart's Owlery, his blond hair blowing in the wind.

Of course, his appearance also scared the living daylights out of a pair of first year girls who had been petting their owls.

Naruto smiled sheepishly at them.

"I don't suppose you know where the Headmaster's Office is, do you?" he asked, making sure he was speaking in 'English'.

The two girls stared blankly at him before shaking their heads in unison. Naruto would have laughed if not for the fact they looked scared enough as it is.

"Oh," Naruto said, "then I don't suppose you could take me to someone who does?"

For a second, the two girls seemed to be debating whether or not Naruto was a threat, then, realising that if he was, he would probably kill them if they didn't comply, nodded mutely in unison.

Naruto had to suppress another laugh, reducing it to a snort, which earned a strange look from the pair.

* * *

Harry rested his head on his arms, tempted to just close the map and be done with it. It was pretty much official by then: Naruto wasn't in Hogwarts, no matter how hard they studied the map.

They'd been staring at a piece of parchment for hours now; it was beginning to wear thin.

Harry was about to tap the map with his wand when he caught sight of a pair of footsteps with a familiar name. He blinked at the map.

"Guys," he called, "Naruto's name just appeared on the map!" The other four people in the common room turned to look at Harry.

"What?!" Ron exclaimed, scrambling over the sofa to look at the map.

Harry nodded.

"Really?" Hermione asked from above her book, raising her eyebrows.

Ginny, who had been sat on a windowsill, scooted off it and moved to see the map.

"Wait a second," Harry said, squinting at the elegant script. "Uzumaki-_Namikaze_ Naruto?"

"So he _did _use a pseudonym," Ron said triumphantly.

Ginny looked at her brother incredulously.

"You actually know what that word means?"

"'Course I do," Ron said, sounding partially offended. "It's a fake name you use, like an alias or a nom de plume."

If Ginny had been disbelieving before, she was beyond that now.

"_How_ exactly," she demanded, raising her eyebrows sceptically, "do you know that?"

"It was part of Witch Weekly's 'Sound Smart to Get Yourself a Wizard' campaign," Ron answered without thinking, then blushed when he realised what he had said.

Ginny muttered something along the lines of 'Mum accused _me_ of stealing those…'

Harry tuned them out, staring at the map. The footsteps labelled with Naruto's name were moving down the stairs from the Owlery.

"How strange," Ginny commented, having finished laughing at her brother. "Where do you think he's heading?"

Harry squinted down at the map.

"It looks … like he's going to Dumbledore's Office."

* * *

Naruto found himself in the headmaster's office, staring down the elderly wizard.

Dumbledore himself was apprehensive. The blond before him somehow looked different to he had looked before. For one, he was fully dressed, and not in something as ostentatious as the orange trousers he had been wearing before.

His unruly blond hair was pushed back away from his eyes by a headband with the symbol of a leaf engraved into it, an addition that highlighted the brightness of his cerulean eyes. His trousers and long-sleeved top were a dark grey, verging on black, and on over the top of these was a dramatic red longcoat.

Secondly, Dumbledore noticed, was the subtle difference in his composure. It was almost as if the playful youth he'd talked to earlier had somehow merged into a trained soldier overnight.

"The offer we talked about before?" the blond asked.

Dumbledore's eyes twinkled. Naruto scowled at them.

"I accept," he said curtly, before wheeling around and leaving the office.

As he watched the retreating blond, Dumbledore smiled. Everything was moving along nicely.

* * *

Naruto was sat on top of one of the castle's turrets, his hair blowing in the wind. According to Dumbledore, term had ended yesterday, meaning that the entire castle was devoid of inhabitants.

He sighed.

It really sucked, it really did. Taking orders from the old coot, even if he was planning on disobeying a fair few of them, especially his latest orders… It really got to Naruto. Mou, he was supposed to be staying safe, not getting involved in another war…

Kakashi-sensei really should have known better than to send him away; trouble followed him around like a stray cat. Oh well, it didn't matter. Here, he was safe from Akatsuki – and whatever they had planned – and unless the opposing side in this war suddenly revealed a Kage-level ninja hiding under their cloaks, he wasn't going to get killed easily.

Naruto hated being away from the front lines, he really did, but if leaving them meant he could keep his precious people safe from whatever Kakashi-sensei was so scared of, he'd do it in the blink of an eye.

Well, he might grumble a little bit, but then he'd do it in the blink of an eye.

He knew his referral to Kakashi-sensei as Hokage-sama had hurt him, but he'd kept at it. It was childish, Naruto knew, and, looking down at the yet unopened letter in front of him, was something he wished he hadn't done.

For years, he'd begged the Sandaime for even a name that he could attribute the title of 'mum' or 'dad' to, and now he had one. Sure, he'd found out about his father's identity before Kakashi handed him the letter, but the fact that Kakashi-sensei had given it to him, even though he had been acting stupid made Naruto eternally grateful to his scarecrow of a sensei.

Still, he couldn't bring himself to open it.

Naruto tucked the letter back into his black jacket and slid down the roof.

Maa, he really _was _becoming like Sasuke…

* * *

Kakashi sighed. It had been four days since he had sent Naruto off, and already, Konoha felt empty.

The image kept replaying in Kakashi's mind. The shock on Naruto's face as he stared down at the letter, the momentary anger – what Kakashi had been expecting from the blond brat – and then the complete and utter thankfulness.

Kakashi could still see Naruto trying to find words to tell Kakashi his thanks, and coming up with a blank.

It was then that Kakashi had regretted not taking more of an interest in Naruto's life from the beginning.

To be fair, he'd been drowning in guilt at the time; the combined deaths of his teammates – both of whom he felt he killed – and his two last lifelines, his sensei and mother-figure hadn't exactly been easy for him to cope with. Seeing Naruto was like looking at everything he had failed. The infectious cheeriness that Obito had, the caring side that screamed of Rin and the looks that were such a merge of Minato-sensei and Kushina, Kakashi had to bite down guilt when he saw the kid's face.

It wasn't until much later, Kakashi realised, that Naruto was his own person.

He wasn't Obito and he wasn't Rin. He wasn't much like his father and thank the _lords_ he wasn't his mother.

It had only taken Kakashi nearly thirteen years of the brat's life to realise that.

"KAKASHI! ARE YOU READY TO TEST THE FLAMES OF YOUR YOUTH AGAINST ME, YOUR ETERNAL RIVAL?"

Kakashi couldn't help but let out a small smile. Yes, his eternal rival was always there to stop him from angsting…

"Actually, Gai, I have something more important to do," Kakashi said with a small smirk. "And so do you."

Gai, who had quite literally bounced into the Hokage's office, looked somewhat confused.

"Whatever could you mean, Kakashi?" he asked, slightly more calm.

"Well, you see, they've called a Five Kage's Summit, Gai," Kakashi said, "and I'm three days late for leaving."

Kakashi thoroughly enjoyed watching Gai's ludicrous expression.

"How unyouthful, Kakashi! How could you let such a terrible habit as poor timing carry over into important matters such as these?!" Gai pumped his fist. "YOSH! I SHALL GET YOU THERE IN DOUBLE TIME…"

Kakashi's smirk deepened.

"…AND IF I CAN'T DO THAT, I SHALL CARVE YOUR FACE INTO THE HOKAGE MOUMENT USING ONLY MY LITTLE FINGERS! AND, IF I CAN'T DO THAT, I SHALL USE MY HEAD!"

* * *

Harry sighed as he stared blankly out of the window of his bedroom. It had been an interesting year to say the least, he thought as listened to the periodical pecking of Hedwig against her cage.

From Umbridge to the DoM to the blond shinobi… Yes, it had been a busy year. That said, it wasn't like Harry had ever ended a year at Hogwarts _not _having visited the Hospital Wing…

Harry's mind wandered to Uzumaki-Namikaze Naruto, the enigma of a blond he had met in the DoM. Despite acting like a ditz at times, Naruto had proven exceptionally good at dodging questions. Since he disappeared from Hogwarts for that small period, Naruto had barely been seen on the map, appearing for short intervals at most and staying mostly in the Dumbledore's Office.

Harry idly wondered what Naruto was doing now as he added the finishing touches to his DADA essay.

That was when he was nearly startled out of his skin by someone tapping on his window. Naruto's face was peering back at him through the glass.

Harry wrenched his window open before whispering harshly to the blond in Japanese.

"What are you doing here? If my aunt and uncle find you…"

"Do you trust Dumbledore?" Naruto suddenly asked.

Harry blinked at Naruto, shocked by the bluntness of his question.

"Why do you care?" Harry asked, guardedly.

Naruto nodded; _that _was as good as a confession.

Naruto pulled a scroll out of his pack, handing it to Harry.

"Pack in this," he said.

Harry blinked again. He couldn't just up and leave! He didn't say that, though. Instead he shrugged.

"We are we going?" he asked.

Naruto smiled.

"Training," he answered.

Then, he grinned at Harry and, against his better judgement, Harry grinned back.

* * *

Meanwhile, in Iron Country…

Gaara stared around the room where the five most powerful ninja in the entirety of the Hidden Continent were sat. Well, the _four _most powerful ninja.

One thought was occupying all the minds in the room:

Where the _hell _were Konoha?!

* * *

_DONE, DONE, DONE!_

_I really am finding it hard to write this story, especially seeing as I'm mostly wingin' it in terms of plot._

_Seeing as I only had one entry into my Omake challenge, I wrote one myself, partially to make up for the lack of a preview this chapter and the shortness of all my chapters._

_Omake no jutsu!_

* * *

OMAKE – THE POSION-MISTRESS AND THE POTION CLASS

It was another rainy day as the Slytherins and Gryffindors dragged themselves into potions for one of the last lessons of the term. A small cold had been going round the school, with the latest victim having been Neville, though, Harry noted, he just seemed happy to miss potions.

What greeted them, though, when the so called 'Golden Trio' entered the dungeons, was not their favourite greasy-haired potions professor, but a woman with black hair, a trench coat and a wicked grin.

"Come on in, brats," she said happily, whilst munching on something. "I won't kill you if you haven't signed waivers."

_That _didn't reassure the students one bit.

"Where's Professor Snape?" Hermione asked politely, trying her best not to shake in fear or stammer.

"Sick, I believe," she said. "Now, let me lay some ground rules down. Rule one: I don't particularly want to be here, but I'm getting paid shitloads of cash for this, so I'm going to try to be nice. Rule two: being nice doesn't come easily to me, so don't give me excuse to break _my _rules—"

"Crazy bitch," Draco muttered under his breath, barely audible.

The woman's ears pricked, apparently having heard. Faster than the eye could follow, a kunai was flying through the air until it imbedded itself into the wall, nipping Draco's ear. The white-blond's eyes slowly traced down the length of the knife in shock.

"Care to repeat that?" the woman asked sweetly another kunai being spun around her finger.

The pause that followed the question appeared to be enough for Draco to regain his arrogance from the fear.

"My father—" he began, only to be cut off by the woman as she move to retrieve her kunai.

"What's _your father_ going to do? I don't want this job, and I'm no stranger to being wanted by the law. I'm not even from here. What _can_ your father do?"

"He'll make you pay," Draco spat.

The woman's hand, which had been wrapped around the edge of the kunai suddenly moved to Draco's throat. Draco felt the woman's hot breath on his face as she leaned in, her eyes boring into his.

"See this headband?" she hissed as she dragged a rough hand across Draco's cheek in a caressing motion. The entire class was silent, intently listening by this point. "This headband means that if your father even so much as _tries _to hurt me, he'll be dead before _you _can blink."

The woman pulled away from Draco, before popping a stick of dango into her mouth.

"Right," she said, her tone suddenly cheerful. "My name's Mitarashi Anko, but you can call me psycho-sensei. Today we're going to be making _Kiredesou_, a poison that will cause your enemies to suffer a slow and painful death, so I wouldn't advise drinking it…"

At this point, even Hermione was too terrified by the poison-mistress to question the sanity of teaching a fatal poison to a group of teenagers.

It wasn't until the end of potions that the 'Golden Trio' felt like they could relax.

"That was terrifying!" exclaimed Ron.

Harry, however, was mulling over the lesson. It had, whilst terrifying, been a rather useful lesson and the Anko woman had really known her stuff.

"Remember all that stuff she said about her headband?" he asked suddenly, recalling the early confrontation with Draco.

"Yeah," Ron was saying, "mental, I tell you."

"Well, doesn't Naruto wear one of those too?"

Silence. Then-

"Nah, I swear it was different…"

"No way Naruto knows someone half as crazy as her."

Far away, in a village hidden within the leafy forests, half of the ninja population paused in their construction work to sneeze.

* * *

_And that's a wrap!_

_We're having a time skip after this chapter, but I can't decide whether to write the Kage Summit or if I can't be bothered._

_Meh, I'm getting lazy._

_Over and out,_

_FriedIce_

_PS: I think it's a given, but I'll say it anyway:_

_REVIEW!_


	6. Interlude: Danzo

**INTERLUDE – Danzo**

Shimura Danzo was not the type of person who would take opposition to his plans lying down. This simple, well-known fact was something that was blatantly obvious given his past actions: his refusal to shut down ROOT, despite the Sandaime's orders; his reaction to the Uchiha's planned coup; his actions during the invasion of Pein…

So, to say that Danzo was mildly irritated when Kakashi made a mess of his plans was an understatement.

Years of planning, of political ploys to get himself supporters, looting corpses… All for nothing.

Shimura Danzo, however, was not an idiot.

Danzo knew of Kakashi in his youth, and knew that Kakashi was well capable of playing the game of politics with as much skill as his sensei, and if not that, he was smart enough to be able to make things up as he went along.

But Danzo doubted that Kakashi was what the village needed at the moment.

In spite of what the other members of the Council thought, Kakashi had gone soft since he took a team of genin.

He wasn't ANBU anymore, and he most certainly had lost the edge of terror he'd gained in the Third Shinobi War. Kakashi wouldn't kill mercilessly and wouldn't get his hands dirty. Kakashi wouldn't be prepared to do what the village needed.

That was what Danzo thought, until it struck him that everything was _awfully _convenient.

Uzumaki Naruto, possibly the most staunch supporter of Konoha, one who had literally gone through Training From Hell to help his village, even though Konoha had never asked for the help, was _not _the sort of person who'd just disappear when Konoha needed him most. Kakashi had made that clear.

What Kakashi hadn't mentioned was that he was quite likely one of the only people who could persuade Naruto to do just that.

And so, Shimura Danzo was convinced that there was more to Uzumaki Naruto's disappearance than he was letting on.

* * *

Disgust.

It was absolutely disgusting what Kakashi was bringing Konoha to.

It was disgusting the way he was abusing his powers to hand out D-rank missions of little importance when the village needed rebuilding. It was disgusting how he was laughing and joking alongside the ninjas when he should have been doing the books. It was disgusting the way he threw decorum out of the window.

Danzo couldn't stand it.

Konoha should have been _his_. He'd planned and played politics for years! Why had he failed?

Uzumaki Naruto. Of course! The damned demon brat had ruined everything.

And… Danzo's one visible eye turned to Kakashi, who was currently having a game of Jan Ken Pon with a random jounin to see who would have to go get some more wood.

The damned demon brat had done it all for his manipulative bastard of a sensei…

Danzo watched as Hatake Kakashi, Maito Gai and Haruno Sakura prepared to leave Konoha in the hands of the Council.

They should have left nearly three days ago.

Part of Danzo was snarling at Kakashi. He was bringing disgrace and shame to Konoha in his actions. Another part, the part that was still slightly rational was smirking. Kakashi's lateness was so predictable…

It had given Danzo the time he needed to put his plan into action.

So, when Kakashi left Konoha, Danzo melted into the shadows.

* * *

Kakashi was proud of his student. Sakura was keeping pace with Maito Gai – a feat that not many Shinobi could boast – and not even breaking a sweat. Gai was currently making good on his promise to get Kakashi there double time, but the pace he was setting was ambitious to say the least.

On the edge of Kakashi's senses, he could feel three approaching chakra signatures. He paused.

Sakura and Gai fell into position beside him.

"Reveal yourself!" he called into the surroundings.

"Hatake Kakashi…" a voice said. "Tell me: where is Uzumaki Naruto?"

The last thing the three of them saw was the swirling iris of a sharingan eye.

* * *

_Haha, sorry, not a real chapter, but very important to the plot. The main reason you're not getting a full chapter is because there is a very important plot point that me and my co-writer are having an argument. There was shouting. Lots of it. Anyway, we were having such a large argument that we created a poll title: what house will Naruto be sorted into? So, get off your virtual behinds and vote, my followers! Vote, I tell ye, vote!_

_I felt guilty that this wasn't a proper chapter, so I wrote another Omake. Omake no jutsu!_

* * *

**THE SCARECROW AND THE DIVINATION CLASS**

Harry and Ron sat side by side in the Divination classroom. They were days – _days _– away from the end of term and the entire class was fidgety with anticipation. The Potions Incident – as their lesson with the creepy poison mistress had come to be known – was at the back of their mind as they waited for the arrival of their teacher.

The seconds ticked by.

Harry and Ron had taken to playing hangman on the edge of a piece of parchment as they waited, not really noticing as the seconds passed by one after the other, eventually building up into minutes. They had filled an entire two sides with their pointless games by the time that their teacher arrived.

He strode into the classroom confidently, an orange book held in one hand, looking completely unfazed by the fact he was late by at least twenty minutes. The majority of his face was covered by a tight black mask and gravity-defying silver hair peeked out from above a headband that was titled to cover one of his eyes. It was exactly the same as the one that Anko had been wearing.

"Sorry I'm late, class," the man said. "The stars were not properly aligned for me to arrive until now." He paused. "And I ran into a black cat, or would that be a Grim?" The man tapped his chin thoughtfully. "Probably a Grim."

One of the students at the back put their hand up. The man snapped his book shut.

"Yes?" he asked.

"Isn't a Grim a dog?" the student asked.

"Yes," the man said, leaning forward. Then, as if he was saying something that was a massive secret, he whispered loudly, "But it was a magical dog."

Every single curious face in the class melted away and they nodded thoughtfully.

Harry felt like face-palming. It was more than depressing that his classmates accepted that as an excuse.

"Right," the man said. "Introductions, right? Well, my name is Hatake Kakashi and anything else about me is none of your business. Your teachers, both of them, are apparently ill, and so I was called in to teach you guys all about Divination. You may call me Kakashi-sensei, but we need to wrap this lesson up pretty snappish because I'm late for my promotion ceremony and any more than a couple of days late and people start to think I've forgotten."

Kakashi took a perch on the edge of Trelawney's desk.

"Right, today we're going to talk about what we, where I come from, call omens," he said. "This isn't in your textbooks, so you better shut those, please."

Obediently, and in unison, every student in the room shut their textbooks, causing a colossal slamming sound to reverberate around the room.

"The first legend, as it were, that we will talk about is what we call 'The First C-Rank Curse'. Now, when you're twelve you get assigned your first C-Ranked assignment, which is a very easy assignment designed to get you used to the job."

Lavender Brown's hand was in the air before Kakashi had even finished. She smiled coyly at him.

"What is your job, Kakashi-sensei?" she asked in a saccharine voice.

Kakashi tilted his head to the side as if considering.

"I suppose you could call me a contractor," he eventually said. "You have something that needs doing, pay me and I'll do it. Within certain parameters, of course."

Harry raised his eyebrows.

"Such as," he prompted.

Kakashi shrugged.

"If it's a choice between the assignment and my teammates, I'll choose my teammates. There are other things as well, but that's the main one," he replied. "Anyway, back to the curse. On a C-Rank, generally, the worst that can happen to you is being attacked by rabid squirrels—" At the looks of disbelief on the class's faces, Kakashi shrugged. "It happens," he said. "There is an entire division of the psych department dedicated to dealing with the trauma associated with rabid squirrel attacks. Some of our best ni— _contractors _never recover." Kakashi smiled, but it was hard to tell with the mask. "Anyway, the First C-Rank Curse basically dictates that anything that can go wrong on your first C-rank, will go wrong."

Lavender Brown's hand was back in the air.

"Yes?" Kakashi said.

"Has this ever happened to you?" Lavender asked.

Kakashi nodded.

"Several times," he said. "Any other questions?"

The lesson passed in an interesting manner, with Lavender desperately trying to gain Kakashi's attention with many, many invasive questions. Harry noted it down as the most intriguing, yet most pointless Divination lesson they'd had.

"That was curious," Harry said, gathering up his books. The teacher – Kakashi – had left nearly immediately when the bell rang, waving farewell cheerfully and stating that he had better get to his promotion ceremony.

"Yeah," Ron said. "And weird. Really weird."

"That stuff about Code Orange was just plain bizarre, though," Harry commented as they left the classroom. "I mean, what sort of omen is that? 'If you see an orange blur, you'll be late home from work'?"

Ron shrugged.

"Let me say this again, Harry," he said. "That guy was weird."

"As weird as Anko?" Harry asked.

"Weirder."

* * *

In Konoha, a certain purple-haired kunoichi grinned as everyone handed her fifty Ryou.

"Told ya he was weirder," she said with a smirk.

* * *

_That's all folks. Until next time, which should be sooner than ya think (next chapter half written, but need poll result to continue)._

_Adios!_

_-FriedIce_

_PS: Review, even though I don't deserve it?_

_PPS: Omake done in 20 mins. I am a ninja._


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